Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Long story short I found out my boyfriend has some fleshlights. I haven't told him I know yet and it really bothers me that he uses sex toys. I know I'm being a big hypocrite since I have a couple vibrators and dildos. I'm not ready to have sex yet and he's been understanding with that. I know I should be understanding that he's using them to simply take care of himself but it still bothers me. Any advice on what I could do to be more accepting of this situation?

I would talk to him about why he owns sex toys and when he uses them.  Come to some understanding about both of your sex toys that makes both of you comfortable about them.  If you don’t talk to him, you will start to resent him and be angry about it, so work it out between the two of you.  It may be that he owns them from before your relationship, and hasn’t used them since, or he may use them when he wants sex but you don’t (which is 100% normal in relationships… people have different sex drives!).  Just talk to him and I’m sure you will both feel better about it.  I doubt he wants to hide them from you.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

I'm coming out of a 3 year relationship and have started masturbating again. I've found that I can't reach orgasm and ejaculate from masturbating now. So what usually happens I go to bed frustrated but wake up in the middle of the night finding myself covered in my semen from a wet dream which I haven't had since the middle of puberty. What can I do so I can relieve myself through masturbation?

Don’t expect masturbation to feel like having sex with your partner, and don’t get frustrated by your lack of response to it.  It is natural for your body to need an adjustment period when switching between forms of sexual stimulation.  I would take your time masturbating, and make sure you’re really in the mood.  Focus on the sensations of whatever you’re doing and how your body respond to it.  Make sure you’re not distracted, angry, or upset, because that will make it more difficult for you.

If you are really having a hard time, you may want to talk to a professional.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Where can I buy a fleshlight if I'm a 15 year old teenage male. I can't order one so where can I buy one that someone will sell it to me?

Unfortunately, it is illegal to sell sex toys to people under the age of 18.  

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

I have an over-active sex drive and nothing I do seems to curb it. I try to handle it myself, with and without my fleshlight, but it doesn't seem to die. It's getting to a point where I'm squirming at work just waiting to get home to masturbate again. What can I do to lessen this? I don't want to kill my sex drive completely but I want to be more normal about it.

That is a really good question, but I do not feel like I am qualified to give you an answer (nor do I really know how to solve this issue).  I would talk to your doctor, they may have a technique to recommend.  Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful!

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

i don't like how the fleshlight owner's statement frames sexual pusyness (which includes r*pe, as a consequence) as coming from high sex drive, glossing over the power issues, which are more of a result of patriarchal, misogynist socialisation and really can't be cured by great sex toys :/ why can't "those are things that give people with certain genitals great orgasms" be enough of a justification for their existence?

tw: rape

Well, they are products that give people with certain genitals great orgasms.  I thought that was kind of assumed by your first question.  Unfortunately, you’re right, Fleshlight cannot be the answer to all of the problems with the patriarchal structure of sexuality in our society, but at least it is a start.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

I was curious and visited the fleshlight site and forums after reading your post on the fleshlight. Doesn't all the full frontal nudity of female models on your companies webpages bother you as a feminist? Even if you don't deal with that part of the company, your company does endorse products of artificial orifices, from women who take part in non-feminist friendly porn. Doesn't that bother you at all?

Well… yes and no.

When I interviewed for Fleshlight, I did have some reservations about the product.  I felt that the product was essentially reducing women down to their “fuckable” parts, which is pretty objectifying.  However, the owner of the company began talking to me about the product and how he came about producing it.  ”So many guys have high sex drives,” he told me.  ”They often use women to satisfy their sex drives, whether or not the woman wants to have sex.  They convince and cajole until they get what they want.  I wanted to make a product that would feel as good as the real thing, so that these men wouldn’t have an excuse to use a woman like a sex object.  Instead, they could use their sex toy.”  This makes a lot of sense to me, and is what ultimately convinced me to join the company (along with the fact that I would get to research and write about sexual health).

The Fleshlight Girls that we mold and sell on our site receive generous compensation for each product of theirs that we sell, and the Fleshlight company does not act as a porn-producing company.  We take photos and do plaster-casts, but that is about it.  I don’t think there is anything to object to in the way we treat the porn stars we work with.

Unable to ejaculate from sex

Hi. I was the guy who couldn’t ejaculate during sex. Sorry I didn’t give you more details. I ran out of character I could put in the question. So I’m just going to use the submission option this time.

I don’t think I have ejaculated during sex since, I don’t lose my erection for a long time, nor is my penis sensitive afterward and I most definitely get sensitive after ejaculating. Plus when I ejaculate my sexual desire is diminished for a while and that isn’t happening. My girlfriend is on the hormonal implant since we’ve been together for 2 years before we started became sexually active. Since we don’t use condoms we didn’t weren’t sure I was ejaculating at first. Otherwise the use of condoms would have discovered this immediately. I did some research and I’ve read that some guys can have multiple orgasms. It sounds like it takes a lot of patience and practice. Those guys seem to be able to orgasm without ejaculating. Maybe somehow that might be what’s happening to me without all the effort? That’s just a theory.

It’s funny that you mention the fleshlight. A few months after we started dating my girlfriend suggested that I get a toy to help take care of myself since she has her own. There was a promotion at the time so I ended up buying a few fleshlights. Since then I’ve used the fleshlight exclusively for masturbation. I have never had any issues achieving orgasm and ejaculating using a fleshlight. So I don’t think I have death grip syndrome. During oral sex my girlfriend isn’t putting much pressure or suction and I am to climax normally.

I should point out I have tried abstaining from ejaculating for a week once recently before having sex and ejaculated pretty much right after penetration. So I wasn’t exactly able to really enjoy my first ejaculation by sex. Normally I last anywhere from 5-15 minutes when my girlfriend performs fellatio on me. I last around 30 minutes when using the fleshlight. It takes around 10-15 minutes of sex when I feel Iike I’ve reached orgasm but don’t ejaculate. So it was probably the fastest I’ve ejaculated since my first year of masturbating when I was 13 or 14.

Do you think I should try abstaining from all sexual stimulation aside from vaginal for a while? 

I posted this somewhere else as well. I haven’t really gotten any good ideas on how to ejaculate from sex though. One women suggested that this might just be the way I am. She said she had partners who would ejaculate immediately from penetrative sex but last forever orally and vice versa. However The whole orgasm without ejaculation thing made it sound odd to her. The other idea that was suggested is, I might have emotionally scared sexually as a child somehow and suppressed the memory. Then somehow from that experience my body is unwilling to ejaculate in a vagina.

I realize at this point my issue has little to do with masturbation. So if you are willing to take more time helping me out feel free to email me back instead of putting it in your blog. If would like to post this in your blog, feel free to do so.

Thank you and have a great day

I don’t really know what to tell you, here!  It sounds like you have already explored most of the avenues I would have suggested to you, so this might be a question for a true professional (i.e. doctor / urologist or someone with medical training).  My only other idea is that you might be trying to have too many orgasms in a single day… do you masturbate on the same day as you try to have sex with your girlfriend?  If so, that might be causing some of your problems.  It sounds like you should just refrain from all other sexual activities and just have intercourse with your girlfriend (provided she’s interested in doing that with you) to see how that goes.  I’d be interested in hearing if that helps at all!

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

I have no problems reaching orgasm when I masturbate. During sex with my girlfriend I can't ejaculate. I feel like I'm going to, like my penis and whole groin area is pulsating and contracting. The first couple of times I thought I did ejaculate but soon learned I didn't. I think I am reaching orgasm but I don't ejaculate from sex alone. Usually my girlfriend helps me finish by masturbating me or giving me oral. This has been happening since we became sexually active. What's wrong with me?

Does it feel like an orgasm when this is happening?  How do you know you haven’t ejaculated?  

Basically - I am not sure how to answer you here!  If you get pelvic contractions and a great feeling of release/pleasure, it sounds like you’re having an orgasm while you’re inside your girlfriend.  However, sometimes orgasming through penetration alone can be difficult for guys.  If you usually masturbate with a tight fist or if you require a lot of pressure/suction from your girlfriend to be able to orgasm, this could be the reason you’re having trouble reaching climax during penetration.  Your girlfriend’s vagina cannot replicate the tightness and friction you create with your fist, and since your body has learned that you “need” that tightness to orgasm, you won’t be able to reach orgasm until your girlfriend masturbates you.  This is commonly called Death Grip Syndrome, and is fairly easily reversible.  If you think this is what you’re experiencing, you may want to stop masturbating entirely so that you can reprogram your body to recognize the fact that other types of stimulation can bring you to orgasm.  Fleshlights also help with this syndrome, if you cannot refrain from masturbating.

Check out the forums post on DGS - the guys on there are super helpful. (note: NSFW)

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for your advice. It turns out I was worrying about nothing. My boyfriend apparently already has read that most women don't achieve orgasm from intercourse alone. So he's perfectly happy with me or him using our hands to stimulate my clitoris. I am curious to know why I can achieve orgasm from rear entry a decent amount of the time. Is that position better for stimulating the gspot or something?

Good!  I’m glad to hear he was open to suggestions.

Yes, rear entry or “doggy style” or whatever you want to call it generally allows better access to your g-spot, which is located somewhere about 2-3 inches up on the front wall of your vagina (the wall closest to your stomach, rather than your back).  Rear entry penetration positions the penis so that it can hit your gspot easily, instead of just rubbing alongside it.  That’s probably why you can orgasm from that position!

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

My boyfriend does a great job satisfying me orally but I've found it difficult to orgasm during sex. I can orgasm from doggy a decent amount of the time but rarely ever in other positions. I was reading that masturbating during sex would be helpful. What do you think? I'm worried that it might be insulting to my boyfriends manhood especially since he puts a lot of emphasis on making sure I'm satisfied. What's the best way to handle this?

About 75% of women are not able to orgasm from penetrative sex alone, they need other types of stimulation (usually clitoral stimulation).  There just aren’t enough nerve endings inside of our vaginas to make us reach climax… can you feel a tampon once you’ve put it in?  Not usually, right?  Definitely not enough to make you orgasm, anyway.

So it is not an insult to your partner if you can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone.  It actually makes you part of the majority of women.  He shouldn’t mind if you reach down to touch yourself while having sex… he should just be happy that you’re having a good time!  If he does seem to be insulted, you could suggest that he touch you instead.  Have him rub your clitoris as he’s thrusting, and that way he can feel like he is the one making you reach orgasm.

Hopefully, his ego isn’t a problem and you can do whatever you need to to make yourself have an orgasm during sex.  Talk about it with him and explain that the majority of women don’t orgasm during penetrative sex alone, and he should be fine with it!  Good luck.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

The stop and go method is hard. When I do it there is no "slowing down". I have to completely stop, then concentrate on "don't cum, don't cum ,don't cum, don't cum," while holding my pc muscle tight. Most of the time I'd say I can hold back, but I do have my slipups.

Yup, it is hard!  There is no denying it.  I am not always sure it is worth trying, but some people really want to last longer and that is really the only way to teach yourself to do it.  It sounds like you’re doing everything right though…

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

The idea of having a night dedicated to masturbating when I would have time turns me on so much... I just wish masturbation didn't make me feel so awful about myself. Help?

Why does masturbation make you feel bad about yourself?  Ask yourself some questions and try to figure out why you’re feeling that way about masturbation.  Did your parents/religion/adults in your life tell you that masturbation was wrong and dirty?  Explore the answers you come up with, and do some research on masturbation to try to work out the guilty feelings.  Remember that masturbation is 100% normal and healthy for people of all ages, and try to have a good time!  A night dedicated to masturbating sounds like a lot of fun :D

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Well there is more to say, I am a 15 year old guy, I've masturbated almost everyday sine one month ago sometimes even twice or thrice daily. Firstly I had developed muscle spasms and shortly i noticed my BP had risen, stupidly I had continued with my activities. Then I got bad back pains I don't know why. Then a month ago I had Hematuria (Blood in Urine) and I freaked out. I just feel like I need to make this post whilst I'm recovering from this incident. So people please stress on hygiene.

Yes, hygiene is important!  So is listening to your body when it says that you’ve had enough.  There is nothing wrong with having fluctuating levels of masturbation and sexual desire.  It is totally human.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

what is the best fleshlight? also is it true that it will help my man last longer?

If you want to help your man last longer, you might want to go with the Stamina Training Unit, because it has a very intense texture on the inside which makes him learn to stave off his orgasms.  If he uses the “start/stop” technique, he will train himself to control his orgasms and release when he is ready to stop.  Basically, the start stop technique involves bringing yourself to the point of orgasm, and slowing down so that you come down from that point of no return, and then bringing yourself back to it (without releasing) and stopping until you come down again.  Do this as many times as you can and you’ll learn to control your orgasms better.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union